


Tricks

by JadedPandaGirl



Series: Panda's Expanded Devil May Cry [11]
Category: Devil May Cry
Genre: Comedy, Cosplay, F/M, Friendship/Love, Gen, Humor, contains illustration, the 1958 Hammer Horror film Dracula is referenced
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-08
Updated: 2016-10-08
Packaged: 2018-08-20 05:27:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8237690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JadedPandaGirl/pseuds/JadedPandaGirl
Summary: Dante finds out that Tess had to wear a costume at her second job and insists on seeing her in it. Hilarity ensues. (contains illustration)





	

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by an art challenge from tumblr. :D

Tess walked faster, her face red with embarrassment. “Dante, you can forget it. I had to wear the damn thing for six hours every day at Lost Dogs, I’ve had enough of it,” she grumbled.

Dante easily kept up with the ginger witch with long his strides, herding her towards the inside of the pavement so she was stuck between him and the buildings on the other side. That way, she couldn’t ignore him! Behind them, the hotel under construction they had cleared out was still smoking.

“Aw come on, Twig!” he chuckled. “That’s not fair! The one week the bar decides to dress the girls up for Halloween, I happen to be outta town and miss the whole thing.”

“Tsk, you didn’t miss anything,” she groaned. “It was dumb. I was wearing a borderline skanky vampire bride get-up. Big deal.”

“Lady said you looked great,” he chuckled.

“Lady should’ve kept her mouth shut!” the witch groaned.

Dante grinned. “C’mooon, you must’ve had _some_ fun with it! Don’t tell me you’ve never dreamed of being an all-powerful vampire queen?”

Tess scoffed and shook her head. “If I was an all-powerful vampire queen I’d have a better dress sense – and sensible shoes!”

He feigned a sulk. “I’ll help you with all your jobs for the rest of the month.”

Tess stared at him, incredulously. “Are you _actually_ buttering me up?”

He flashed a winning smile. “ _And_ I’ll buy you dinner.”

Tess stopped them both by stepping in front of him and turning around. “Okay, seriously now: You really want to see me wearing that dumb costume?”

He grinned. “Yes, please.”

She stared at him dejectedly for a moment then sighed and shrugged. “Fine. But you have to promise to watch at least one horror movie with me. We can have pizza.”

Dante frowned at her momentarily. He never really understood the appeal of such films or her fondness for them – she always said she found them fun? How’s that more fun than the real thing _and_ kicking its ass? He hesitated but she was serious and even put her hand out to shake on it. Though… he really _did_ want to see her in the costume, Lady had wound him up too much to pass it up!

“I’m not budging, it’s the one Halloween tradition I care about. They’re fun!” she pressed him.

He put his hand out to shake on it. “Alright—“

She pulled her hand back. “But no making fun!”

He scoffed. “You drive a hard bargain, Twig.”

They actually shook on it and she seemed rather pleased, smiling at him airily before she tugged him to a stoop so she could speak in his ear. “I’ll see you at my place at eight.”

She left him standing there with a stupid smile on his face. ‘See him at her place at eight’ – she’d said that with a certain kind of tone that suggested that _other things_ might take place that evening, beyond corny horror films and cosplay.

Dante turned around and headed for his office with a quick step. He was going to ensure that he would have the evening to himself.

Just before eight, later that day, he was standing at her door, at the top of the stupid, narrow little staircase that led to her loft. He smirked a bit; he could smell fresh popcorn. He knocked, rather than just letting himself in with her spare keys as he usually did. She opened, and he was disappointed to find her wearing comfortable cotton trousers and a shirt.

“I thought you said you were gonna wear the costume,” he said, frowning.

“I will! But not while I’m waffling around my house making popcorn,” she said, smiling tartly at him. “Come in, I’ll go put it on  so it’s outta your system. Then we’ll have pizza and the movie.”

So Dante found himself lounging on her sofa while she disappeared into her study to change – well, ‘study’ after a fashion. It was a room formed by bookcases out of the large space of her loft, tucked under the raised floor of her bedroom. She kept all her wiccan books and materials in there. Part of him wanted to duck into the room and catch her changing but… he really wanted to see her fully dressed up too.

“Are you done yet, Twig? Need a hand?” he offered, bored.

She responded with “I’m good! And promise not to laugh!”

Dante groaned slightly. “I promise! Now come on out already, quit stalling.”

He perked up at her low, teasing giggle. “Ready?” she purred.

Dante didn’t even realize that he sat up straighter in the couch and leaned forward, his elbow on his knee. “Always, Twig.”

A fine leg decked in the most delicate fishnet stockings made its appearance from behind the bookshelf, stepping on pretty little purple high-heels that did wonders for her shapely legs. He smiled as more and more leg slid forward tantalizingly slow, the fishnet complimenting her pale complexion and freckles very nicely. He didn’t realize that he leaned forward as her thighs and then her perfectly rounded ass made their appearance, first covered in a cheesy, short Dracula cape of fine velvet before it slid off to the side to reveal a criminally short, deep purple dress. Her low giggles just made him grin wider – now this was a show worth watching as the bottom of a gray-black cloth corset came into view—

And she suddenly stood straight at the threshold, one arm braced against the bookshelf’s side and the other propped on her thigh temptingly and he saw sweet, see-through spider-web gloves and bare shoulders with a beautifully low cleavage and—

_SCREEEEEEEEECH!_

Tess cackled as the impossibly ugly, grimacing Nosferatu mask with the gaunt, ratty face and long incisors that she wore let another blood-curdling scream and its eyes lit up. She pressed the tiny remote control button in her hand once more for good measure.

Dante was aware he’d started with a strange yelp and almost jumped off the couch. He glared at the tiny witch and her ridiculous ugly mask and…

And then his composure went and he started snickering.

“D’you like it?” she asked from under it. “Hmm? Is it everything you dreamt of?”

He opened his mouth to fire back a witticism but all that came out was a louder laugh at the absurdity of the howling, remote control mask glaring at him with its light-up eyes, on top of the titillating vampire mistress display. It got worse when she put on the corniest Transylvanian accent ever.

“Vell?” she demanded, sauntering closer and beckoning him with clawed hands – glue-on nails, no doubt. “Don’t hyu vant zis vampire to zsuuuuck hyu, mortal?”

He was officially laughing too hard for words, slapping his knee and whooping with mirth. He pointed a feeble finger at her to make some point but it eluded him entirely and he just lost it.

“Hyu vant ze vampire titties, yes?” she carried on, getting closer and shaking her boobs at him, then laughed behind her mask. “Come, hyu vant ze kiss of ze vampire! Rawr. Right here, on the lips,” she continued, gesturing to the rat-like incisors of the Nosferatu mask.

He actually slid off the damn couch there, he was laughing that hard. He held up his hands in surrender.

“So, I take it you _like_ the outfit,” she said, giggling.

Dante wiped his eyes, still hooting and nodded. “I’ll hand it to ya, Twig,” he conceded. “Ya got me good this time.”

She put her hands on her waist and bent over him as he pushed himself onto the couch properly, still chuckling.

“So! I put on the costume. I’ve kept my end of the deal. That means now we watch a movie,” she said cheerfully, then sauntered over to her kitchen and grabbed a big bowl of fresh popcorn and two large boxes of pizza from her oven.

He groaned a bit but acquiesced. “A deal’s a deal. You _did_ wear it,” he admitted as she kicked off her heels and plopped onto the couch beside him.

“So what are we watching, Twig?” he hummed, taking the pizza box from her.

She grinned. “Dracula, ov corse, mortal,” she intoned. “Old school. Christopher Lee goodness and all that.”

He snorted again but then noticed she wasn’t taking the mask off, just lifted the edge and nibbled on some popcorn.

“Uh… aren’t you gonna take it off?” he asked, careful not to sound too plaintive. The joke was good but he didn’t wanna stare at the ugly mug of Nosferatu all night long.

“Not until the movie finishes,” she said with a cackle. “I like the mask.”

Dante sighed and just relaxed into the couch, enjoying pizza and popcorn and the beers Tess had chilling in a cooler. Alright, he would confess to the beginnings of enjoying himself; the movie was rather compelling, in a fashion, more grandeur than sheer horror. Cheesy as all hell and predictable, but the atmosphere was intense and the old-school performances were fun. Plus, Christopher Lee as Dracula? Now _that_ was cool.

In spite of himself, Dante found the plot strangely absorbing, silently rooting for the hunters. Being a hunter himself – a very real hunter of a different prey – he wanted to see the night-stalking bloodsuckers get put down. He leaned forward as they crept through a musty, dark cellar, every footfall pregnant with danger. The music thrummed low, like holding one's breath, as they approached the coffin, the low drumbeats rolling like a heartbeat as they crept closer, reaching out to lift the lid, revealing the--

_SHREEEEEEEEEEEE!!!_

“Jeez--!!” Dante blurted, jumping in his seat and nearly knocking the pizza box onto the floor. He grabbed it with one hand and scrambled in his seat awkwardly, just to feel his face get hot as Tess’ cackle filled his ears.

“Aw man, I got you _twice_ today! Hahah!” she giggled. “And you _jumped_!”

Dante glared at her as the witch dissolved into laughter on her side of the couch, pumping her fist in the air, still holding the remote control for the damn mask. She laughed so hard she was rolling around and eventually slid off the couch and hit the floor with a soft thump. Still giggling.

Dante smirked tartly at her. He put the pizza box down and yanked her up onto the couch again, then pulled the mask off her face, revealing her wicked, wide grin and giggling countenance.

“I think you’ve had enough tricks today, Twig,” he said ominously with a smirk.

“Ooh, I’m shaking!” she tittered.

She held the mask’s remote away from him and he had to pin her to the couch and take it from her because she let it howl a couple more times before he succeeded in confiscating it. By the time they were done, they were breathless with laughter and sitting up to resume watching the film.

“Happy Halloween, I guess,” he managed.

She giggled up at him. “You too, dumbass.”

* * *

Art by JadedPandaGirl/ElvenAngel


End file.
